I’m sitting in the bathroom and I can tell the girl next to me has to poop too but neither of us want to be the first one so we’re just sitting here in silence and I don’t know what to do
i’m one of those annoying people who’s always like “omg i know that actor from somewhere omg i recognize them whAT WERE THEY IN” when watching tv shows/movies who then proceeds to look it up on their phone and inform everyone that said actor was an extra in an episode of some stupid 90s sitcom once
Meeting you was like listening to a song for the first time and knowing it would be my favorite
I’M LITERALLY A PIECE OF SHIT WHEN IT COMES TO KEEPING IN TOUCH WITH PEOPLE ONLINE OKAY I STILL KNOW YOU EXIST AND I STILL LOVE YOU I JUST AM A PIECE OF SHIT OKAY
a man walks into a zoo. the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. it’s a shitzu
this is literally my favourite joke ever
I actually laughed wayy louder than necessary at that.
WHY DOES THIS HAVE 300,000 NOTES BUT WHEN I TELL IT TO ANYONE IN REAL LIFE THEY JUST GROAN